Buy this! And look stupid about it!

Advertisers are cynical, calculating and vacuous beings.  Similarly, they’re cunning.  Advertisers have achieved preternatural mind-harvesting powers in recent years.  They can overwhelm those aware of their ruse.  Have you ever found yourself thinking: gee, that’s a cool ad

“Gotcha bitch!” as Dave Chappele would say.

That’s what they do.  They get ya, you bitch.

But here’s something that cannot stand any longer.

Advertisers must stop making all men mindless dolts.  I get it, a primary pillar of advertising theory proclaims that women control the purse strings.

Let me repeat, women determine the day-to-day financial decisions in what is deemed socially acceptable as human coupling.

That should piss you off.  Advertisers are basically saying, suck it guys. But they’re doing it – without even realizing – in the most cynical and socially destructive way possible.

Advertisers imply that women are naturally spenders.  Shoppers.  Grocery-purchasers and thing-getters.  In a word, housewives.  The replaying of this Shakespearean foible ad nauseum serves to reinforce this social role.  Perhaps that’s too deep of a read.  But fuck them, and don’t you start defending advertisers against whatever whimsical evil I desire to pin them with.

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