John Williams

Jesus Christ. It sounded like Jurassic Park in that stall. Did you see who was in there? We should go examine the stool and inquire about the diet. Perhaps see if we can find some impact marks on the rim of the toilet to make sure the bowl doesn’t require replacing.

Holy SHIT. I know. That’s the worst cacophony in the world. Surprised laughter + Civil War music + horrific bowel movement. Maybe we ought to start haranguing people through the stall wall when we hear that sort of like how I suggested we put like one or two health options in the vending machine and then rig it up so some of the least healthy foods “glitch” when selected and cause the health stuff to drop instead.

Hah! Yeah, we’ll just be the bathroom bastard committee and make fun of people for sharting their poorly selected lunch out.

Or just small amounts of shame. I think just having a genuine reaction instead of being shamed into silence. So, Jurassic Park wet cow/bear roar followed by “Holy shit, what’s going on in there? Do you need an ambulance? An IV Drip?”

Or just “Boo!” “For shame…FOR shame.”

Maybe break down the door and beat the sharter with waffle ball bats?*

Blanket party A LA Full metal Jacket (Gomer Pile).

YES!!!! We need bars of soap. What can we use in the office instead?

Swinglines.

Amazing. And then staple his face to the floor when we’re done? Or…just use the ol’sock method?

Just sock + stapler. You psychopath.

Oh, fair enough. Did you catch the daily show or Colbert report episode from monday?

Yeah what about it?

I almost sharted when he said the line about VT and NH 69ing for 200 years. That’s all.

We had the exact same burst out loud, genuine laughter moment.

…Do you wanna catch? Or… I mean, I will if you won’t.

______________________________

*I really do find such a link with the story about the corn farming natives, “Shades of Shit.” – B.

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