Dr. Pepper 10: Now More Cynical

For example.

INGREDIENTS

CARBONATED WATER, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CARAMEL COLOR, PHOSPHORIC ACID, ASPARTAME, SODIUM BENZOATE, CAFFEINE, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS, ACESULFAME POTASSIUM, SODIUM PHOSPHATE

There’s two links in the High Fructose Corn Syrup listing, find them all!

Also, instead of leaving an elephant in the room to flop around with a too-small caliber bullet lodged in it’s skull, I’ll just say I have no additional comment on the gender/sexual content of the ad beyond what the ad itself offers up.

I gotta say, though. For a second, I joyfully Googled the product to see if maybe they figured an unsweetened product would be just fine, or maybe they’d used pectin or whatever’s in my nonfat yogurt for its lower caloric yield and not gross sweetness factor. Then, Lo! was I reminded how far I am from the sclerotic pulse of my nation.

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