Bile Bubbling Akira Remake

I like well argued essays.  This is one.  It’s about the live-action Akira remake.  You should read it.  Here’s one reason why:

Here’s the latest casting announcements for the two leads:

Kaneda: Garrett Hedlund, Michael Fassbender, Chris Pine, Justin Timberlake or Joaquin Phoenix

Tetsuo (now, no shit, changed to “Travis”): Andrew Garfield, Robert Pattinson or James McAvoy

Also, I hear they’re renaming it from Akira to Ashley. And renaming it from Japanese cinematic classic on every “Top 100 Movies of All Time” list ever to “festering pond of afterbirth”.

P.S. I bet Rob Zombie would direct a movie about a festering pond of afterbirth.

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