Financial Redemption Non-starter with Dick Jokes

Perhaps the last best chance at sweeping fiscal reform.  I never imagined this level of depleted uranium testicular shit-calling.  Scrotal sacs of diamond are needed or some science fiction adamntium or something that can contain the minimally radiated dense-as-Earthly possible manhood that’s capable of this amount of bullshit calling.  Literally, swinging metric tons of pipe to point and call you chickenshit, politically speaking.

Did I put enough penis jokes that the Average American is now capable of addressing some serious financial issues?

First, it’s called the Bowles-Simpson plan.  It comes from President Obama’s bipartisan debt commission made of both current and former Republcian and Democratic leadership.

The chittering televised news has proclaimed there are “no sacred cows” in this plan.  Whatever the fuck that means… (Yeah, I know what it means but that type of vacant skull cliche says truly nothing of any type of relevant gravity).

Basically, Obama wanted a bipartisan plan so that everyone could hate it, but its what this country needs.  So the committee came back and called bullshit like, “I hope this is what you wanted, I hope this is what you had in mind, cause this is what you’re getting.” (Bonus points if anyone calls this out on my blog)

Here’s an excerpt and the link at the bottom is the best I’ve seen so far on a summary of the plan.

  • increase the retirement age to qualify for Social Security — to age 69 by 2075
  • “Increase progressivity of benefit formula” — i.e., reduce benefits by 2050 for middle, and, especially, higher earners, relative to current benefit
  • Increase the Social Security contribution ceiling…  to capture 90% of wages, [instead of 86% now]
  • sweeping tax cuts, tied to the near total elimination of tax breaks and loopholes
  • raising the federal gas tax by 15 cents per gallon
  • Double the number of defense contractor positions scheduled for elimination
  • Cancel the Marine Corps’ Expeditionary Fighting Vehicle program.
  • Cancel the Marine Corps F-35 program.
  • Cancel the Navy’s Future Maritime Prepositioning Force.
  • Cancel the new Joint Light Tactical Vehicle (JLTV), the Ground Combat Vehicle, and the Joint Tactical Radio.
  • Reduce military forces in Europe and Asia by one-third.

The full article I cite is here. Do yourself a favor and steer clear of newspapers and magazines who have already launched into politiczing these cuts in an attempt to make it seem like the others are just out to get what they’re against.  It’s stupid monkey chattering.

I will sacrifice puppittens (puppy kitten fusions) to get these type of defense cuts, balance out the tax code, and I can swallow the types of discretionary and entitlement cuts that are in this plan.


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