Crist: Obsequious or Amicable?

The headline is really a giant fuck you to the St. Pete Times insistence on elevated diction in a rag for the masses.  So, check this out.  Is Charlie Crist willing to stuff every flavor of chorizo, kosher dogs, bratwurst and other ethnic-penile via sausage references into his mouth just to get a vote?

“You all are going to Israel? Oy vey!” Crist gushed last week at Tampa International Airport to a church group heading overseas. “You’re going to be back before the election, right?”

“Your name is Margaret? I have a sister named Margaret!” he howled to one beaming traveler, as if it were the greatest coincidence.

To a Hispanic TSA agent checking the governor’s briefcase: “Thanks for what you do for our country. … I would appreciate your vote — por favor.”


Holy shit I jumped on this one too soon.  The St. Petersburg Times actually did a pretty good summary of Charlie Crist.  Since you’re reading this blog, you pretty much HAVE to vote in November in the not-Barack Obamadin elections.  You might want to know a little more about our Governor, like, this from his previous party confederate:

“I think that the most consistent thing about the man who often appears to be inconsistent is that he has always, going all the way back to Chain Gang Charlie, been willing, if not anxious, to be disrespected by the intellectuals and the pundits and the mandarins of Florida in order to literally be the people’s tribune,” said Republican strategist J.M. “Mac” Stipanovich.

In other words: Charlie is always willing to lie and change positions because deep down, Charlie is a man by and of the people.  He has a short memory and knows that, in the salt of his earthy soul, people are stupid.  And so long as you smile big, touch their shoulder and look straight into their eyes, you can rob them blind and the common man will simply thank you for it.


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