Entrapment in Texas

In my excitement to put my penis in something for the first time in quite a few weeks, I made a few noticeable oversights, above and beyond my trademark “get that latex away from my penis”-move.  Apparently my subconscious desire for new glasses finally discovered an outlet: the rhythmic jousting of my upper thigh and buttocks.  Or, a more comfortable explanation, I squashed my glasses having sex.  So, I spent my first few days in Texas, in what I described at the time, as both physical and mental isolation.  Could Thomas drive anywhere in Texas without his glasses?  Fuck no.

First of all, the first thing a new driver in Texas has to accustom to is the unfortunate location of the sun, which is always at the worst possible angle for reading street signs.  Nothing proves this better than my vehicular saunter through suburban and industrial Ft. Worth after dropping Alexandra off at Lockheed in WHITE SETTLEMENT.  But hey, 20 extra miles (on an 8 mile trip) later, and I was home, thoroughly terrified to get behind the wheel without my glasses again.

Emboldened by my 8-hour cycles in “time-out” I walked a mile to a nearby mall – wait, maybe I should describe Alexandra’s neighborhood.  The Place is completely gated.  That’s right, it’s named after a shitty Persian club.  You have to have a pedestrians key to enter the gate, something I didn’t fully get. Usually, nothing evil is assumed of pedestrians.  With this many aimless daywalkers in Ft. Worth, though, I totally get it.  By that I mean, when I walked a mile to the Ridgmar Mall, I saw zero other humans that weren’t in the belly of their conflabbit steel driving contraptions.

Nevertheless, at The Place there were definitely a lot of porch monkeys.  You know, poor black folks sitting on their doorsteps – chairs are too comfortable? – talking on the phone, outside, in gagillion degree Ft. Worth dry-heat.  Also, in the second floor windows adjacent to Alexandra’s apartment was clearly a hoarder.  The blinds were mashed up against the glass, propped there by comforters, foam mattress padding, and pillows.  These objects never moved in the 8 days I was there.  Also, a coven of stray cats played sphinx across the street and sang me to sleep one night with the unmistakable tunes of their cat-orgies.

Having spent my first three days in perpetual time out, as I mentioned, a quick summation is in order.  Literally nothing interesting happened.  I went to some awesome grocery stores, experienced some of Texas’ beer culture, and saw literally no morons – I will do separate posts on each of those things.  At the end of those three days, I had my glasses, and immediately upon getting my glasses, we were off for Austin, San Marcos, and Schlitterbahn.


One Response to Entrapment in Texas

  1. Alexandra says:

    The Place at Westover Hills is perfectly habitable and it’s perfectly understandable that non-moronic people would want to be comfortable while outside to get phone service!

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