A Phrase That Needs To Die

It goes something like this:

It’s in some place no one has ever heard of.  Up until this (insert catastrophe/war) no one had ever heard of (insert place here).  Who ever heard of (blank) two weeks ago?

Stop it.  Stop coddling Americans.  The most recent iteration of this phrase came in relation to booms in the Gulf of Mexico – while I was watching Morning Joe (Shame on you David Gregory).  Oh yeah, and this exists almost entirely in the world of broadcast television.  When this troublesome issue of clarifying terms comes up in printed mediums, editors handle it with a defter touch.  By that I mean they don’t assume widespread ignorance is as patriotic as American pie.

Let’s take booms as an example again, in print, it would be handled like this: The US Coast Guard has deployed 250 miles of boom, made from hair and recycled fabrics, to corral the oil spill.

It’s eloquent and provides other relevant information – how much boom has been used and where it’s being used and what for.  That’s called context clues.  If a reader still doesn’t know what it is, fucking look it up.  I don’t have column inches to waste sponging the drool from your chin and wiping boogers off your lip.

That, I believe, is why print is dead.  Broadcast provides the luxury service of diaper changes to America’s perpetual retards, offers to blend Americas meals into easily slurpable shake form, all while patting their viewers on the back about how smart they are.

No one has ever heard of?  I’m sorry.  I lack to sheer ego and gall to proclaim that “no one” literally, not one person, has heard of boom before, or Basra, or Georgia (the country).

It’s not my job to educate Americans, nor is it broadcast news or print media’s job.  It’s our responsibility, as patriotic Americans, to give two shits about anything.  Here’s an example, when Russia invaded Georgia – fucking look it up – I was ashamed that I didn’t know specifically where Georgia was.  I knew it was a soviet bloc country and I was reasonably sure it was on the Black Sea.  So you know what I did? I went out and bought a fucking map.  It was $15 dollars.

Now I don’t have to live with the shame of being a voting American who doesn’t know where shit is. So buy a dictionary, a map, an Atlas.  Don’t know what something is? Fucking look it up.  Or, let some twit with a broadcast degree, a smooth voice and non-regional accent tell you how it’s OK that you don’t know what or where something is, because no one else does.  Except they do, and you are in fact a lone retard in a room full of much, much smarter people.


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