13-year-old Summits Everest

All preceding mountaineers who scaled Everest are sorely pissed off.

“It’s bullshit.  How do I tell people I climbed Mount Everest when everyone knows that a 13-year-old can do it,” said Apa Sherpa, who has ascended the peak more than 19 times.

The son of Sir Edmund Hillary, who first climbed Everest, complained that the well of sexually willing women has instantly dried up.

“First, Justin Beiber steals my daughter away from me, which I’m pretty sure makes her a lesbian, and now this brat takes Everest away from me.  Suicide is an option,” said Mr. Hillary.

The American, Jordan Romero, tracked his progress via GPS and blogged about it.  Romero has also climbed six of the other highest peaks in the world, leaving only Vinson Massif in Antartica, which he plans to climb in December.

The mountaineering community is in uproar.

“Gfffhh, nnhmmmm,” said mountaineer Pavel Liepzig, with a pistol in his mouth.

Mt. Everest has also been scaled by w0men, a 61-year-old man, a blind man, two 16-year olds, and a married couple.

If all of them can do it, this whole affair of manliness being associated with the tallest peak has been successfully put to bed.

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